


And I Hope That You Don't Mind My Looking After

by pennysparkle



Category: Persona 4
Genre: Awkwardness, First Time, M/M, Misunderstandings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-15
Updated: 2015-06-15
Packaged: 2018-04-04 14:30:16
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,622
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4141314
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pennysparkle/pseuds/pennysparkle
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"It's not a big deal. Either you sleep on the floor or you sleep in the bed with us," Souji says with a sense of finality.</p><p>"Yeah, I don't mind sleeping with you, senpai."</p>
            </blockquote>





	And I Hope That You Don't Mind My Looking After

From the very beginning, Souji knows it's going to be a problem. Yosuke alternates between being jealous to the point that it's impossible to understand how he doesn't  _realize_ it for himself, and just plain not knowing when to stop talking–Souji  _knows_ this, even though they've only been friends for a few months, and from the time they step into the seedy lobby of the equally seedy hotel, he's prepared for some kind of altercation.

The thing is that Souji and Yosuke are best friends, but sometimes he thinks maybe Yosuke is flirting with him, and he comes off a little bit possessive if he thinks that Souji's going after someone else. It's disconcerting when paired with the way he acts toward Kanji–all afraid that he's going to make a move on him, spewing crass comments that kind of irritate even  _Souji_  (who thinks of himself as fairly easygoing), belittling him and refusing to listen no matter how many times Kanji has reaffirmed his disinterest. Souji's tried to tell him in private that it's a mean thing to do, but it's like Yosuke just can't  _help_ himself from saying it. But then, that's Yosuke: he opens his mouth and immediately shoves his foot in it.

At this point, it feels futile to even  _try_ and avoid such an eventuality. Yosuke will get defensive and Souji can only make sure they know he doesn't approve of it, and assure Kanji later on that Yosuke doesn't mean it like that–he's just... probably not comfortable with himself.

He's already on his toes when they step into the gaudy, ill-lit room. There's so much to see already: bright red wallpaper, an entirely too large bed (just the one), panels of  _mirrors_ on the ceiling. If Kashiwagi really thought she was getting away with this, Souji would be incredibly surprised.

"How does she expect us all to sleep in one bed?!" is Yosuke's first remark. Of course that'd be his main concern. Not that they're in a love hotel, or that there's– _well then_ –condoms and assorted other bits in the bedside table drawer. Souji clears his throat and straightens up, trying not to laugh to himself.

"Well... we could all fit in it, probably. With some maneuvering," he says. He peeks into the mini-fridge and  _oh_ , there's  _alcohol_ in here. Quickly, he shuts it, before Teddie can see and come up with some kind of weird game to play with it.

"No way!"

Souji's head lifts up and he's confused for a second before he realizes what he's suggested. Of  _course_ Yosuke would find fault with it. Kanji, however, doesn't seem to be invested in the conversation, and is more bothered with the TV guide, which, as far as Souji can see, features quite a bit of nudity. Kanji is so flustered he can't even put it back down without dropping it.

When he turns his gaze back, Yosuke is looking at him expectantly, and Souji flounders uncharacteristically for a moment. The only thing that allows him to regain some modicum of composure is the realization that Kanji's approached them again, and has taken up position hovering slightly behind him.

"Where do you want to sleep, then?"

"The bed, of course!"

Souji's eyebrows raise, even though he's not particularly shocked. "But it's big enough for all of us. You're going to take up the entire bed for yourself?"

"Yeah!" Yosuke doesn't seem to realize how selfish this sounds, but Souji's sure it's not that–he just  _really_ wants to ensure that he doesn't have to sleep next to someone who might, in his strange world, have cooties.

"You want us to sleep on the floor?" he asks.

Now Yosuke's acting all fidgety, shifty-eyed. "I mean... I didn't say  _that_."

"So  _you'd_ be willing to sleep on the floor?" Kanji pipes in.

Yosuke scowls. "Make Teddie do it!"

Having heard his name, Teddie finally perks up from examining a magazine that had been laying on the other bedside table, though his face crumples comically when he realizes what had been said. "You're  _bear_ -aking my heart, Yosuke!"

"Man... I don't wanna sleep on the floor either. It's gonna mess up my back," Kanji mutters, rubbing at it preemptively.

Yosuke huffs and crosses his arms over his chest. "Well  _I'm_  not sleeping there."

"There's enough room for all of us." Souji's said this about four times now, and still Yosuke refuses to listen.

"I'm not going to sleep with you guys! What if we...  _touch_."

Kanji guffaws loudly, like he thinks Yosuke is joking, but  _no_. He's utterly and completely serious.

"It's not a big deal. Either you sleep on the floor or you sleep in the bed with us," Souji says with a sense of finality.

"Yeah,  _I_ don't mind sleeping with you, senpai."

"You guys are so  _weird_!" Yosuke yells. "Make Teddie sleep in the bed with you!"

From where he'd moved on from the magazine and instead taken to enjoying the rotation of the bed, Teddie's head pops up. "I want to have a sleepover with sensei!"

Souji tries to hold back his frustration, but they're going in circles. Yosuke wants to sleep in the bed, except he doesn't want to sleep there with Souji and Kanji, but he also wants Teddie to sleep there with them–it's just ridiculous.

"Why don't you sleep on the floor, then?" he asks Yosuke.

"No way! If anybody's going to sleep there, it's the  _bear_!"

"What about Kanji and I?"

"Well...  _two_ of us could probably fit on the bed," Yosuke says, index finger poised to his chin as if this is really taking any kind of consideration at all. "But not Kanji!"

"Man... we've been over this a thousand times!" Kanji groans. "I'm not  _interested_!"

"But what if you get a...  _boner_?!"

"Wh– what if  _you_  get a boner?!"

"I'm just saying! If I have to share the bed with  _anybody_ –and I really don't want to! But  _if_ I had to, it'd be Souji. Right, Souji?"

Souji gives Yosuke a blank look, and maintains it for the five seconds it takes for Yosuke to start wilting.

"Geez... you guys are weird! Fine then! Me and Ted are going to get our own room! Where he'll be sleeping on the  _floor_!" And with that, Yosuke grabs Teddie by one paw and practically drags him off the bed and out of the room.

There's silence between Kanji and Souji now, and it drifts for a few seconds until they both seem to want to start talking at once.

"Sorr–"

"Weir–"

Souji breaks off, and Kanji does too–really, Souji can't do anything but laugh awkwardly, and Kanji joins in after a second.

"He's  _weird_ ," Kanji says at length, rubbing the back of his neck as he glances up at Souji, head ducked.

"Yeah... sorry about that." Yosuke's jealousy was pretty easy for Souji to see, but maybe it'd be awkward to mention that to Kanji. After all, for someone who protests so much, Yosuke  _is_ awfully concerned with who gets to spend the most time with Souji. He can pretend it's about being partners or best friends, but that doesn't stop him from getting pouty if Souji mentions a girl. And maybe it's only subconsciously, but he's just as defensive about Souji talking to guys.

It's not like it matters that much anymore, though. He's gone off, probably to stew in his own irritation for a while, and Souji will smooth it over later in the night. If he's being honest, it's just as hard on him to have his best friend mad at him.

"He's not the kind of guy I would go after anyway," Kanji says into the silence, and then his face turns red and he stutters in his hurry to correct himself. "I mean, you know... if I  _had_ to pick a guy to go after. But I'm not like that, senpai!"

Souji gives him a weak smile. He really doesn't get why Kanji feels the need to defend himself so vehemently when it's only him; it's not like  _he's_ constantly questioning him, not the way Yosuke does. "It wouldn't bother me if you were, Kanji. You know that, right? It wouldn't change anything between us."

"Y-yeah... I guess you're right." For some reason, he looks a little bit disappointed. "I guess it'll be easier to figure out who sleeps where now, huh, senpai?"

Souji smiles. "I don't mind sleeping with you. Unless you're worried about  _me_ coming on to  _you_."

"Huh? Why would you do that?!" Kanji practically chokes out.

"... It's a joke."

"Oh." He laughs weakly, tugging at the collar of his shirt, then glances around the room again. "So... we'll share the bed."

"Yes."

"Great... That'll–that'll be just great, senpai."

Everyone is acting so  _weird_  today. Souji's not sure what it is, but he's not about to open that can of oddities. He just crouches down to dig through his bag, pulling out a change of clothes and his toiletries.

"Oh–gonna take a shower?" Kanji asks. He's hovering right over Souji, following him around like a lost duckling, and Souji's eyebrows raise as he stands up again.

"Yes. Is that a problem?"

"No! Not at all! Be my guest." With an awkward flourish, he ushers Souji forward and Souji bows in teasing response.

The bathroom is just as seedy as he would have expected–low red lighting, a jacuzzi tub and a shower head that could be detached from the wall. There's more condoms in the drawers when he looks, and he grimaces a little as he undresses, feeling somewhat unsettled by being here.

His shower is quick and he doesn't even bother to dry himself off that thoroughly before he tugs on his underwear and lounge pants, then exits the hazy mist of the bathroom. It's cooler in the room, feels nice on his skin, and he sighs as he rubs the towel through his hair.

"Uh–senpai, did you forget a shirt?" Kanji asks from where he's sitting cross-legged on the floor, needle poised in one hand and a tiger plush in the other.

"Hm? No." With a soft exhale of exhaustion, Souji sits on the bed behind Kanji, peering down at the movements of his hands. For the size of them, they move quickly and accurately, confidently pushing the needle through fabric and tugging the thread into place, then repeating. Souji pillows his cheek in his own hand, transfixed.

"So, uh... did you wanna do something? I don't know if you're tired yet... if you are, that's fine!"

"There's not exactly a lot to do here," Souji says drily. "Unless you want to put the huge stock of condoms to use."

Kanji sputters, accidentally pokes himself with the needle and drops the plush entirely. It doesn't draw any blood, so Souji guesses he doesn't have to worry that much, but still. There's no need to be so  _flustered_ all the time. Then again, that's kind of Kanji's modus operandi.

"Ha–" he laughs half-heartedly, turning his head to look wild-eyed at Souji. "That's funny, senpai!"

Souji's eyebrows raise, giving him the same blank look he'd given Yosuke earlier.

"Uh... y'know... I think I'm feelin' pretty tired now!" Kanji announces. He stands so quickly he nearly trips up, then hurries toward the bathroom with his bag in tow.

He's in there so long that Souji's settled in with his book and gotten a good twenty pages done before he returns. But the shower hadn't been on, he's wearing the same clothes as earlier, and he seems as dry and warm to the eyes as he had before. Souji clears his throat, lays the book down in his lap as Kanji approaches, but he only hovers around the edge, unsure of what to do.

"Would you still like to sleep?" Souji prompts.

"Yeah! I just... uh... so I'll sleep on this side, right?"

He's acting so  _strangely_. Souji just nods and pats the bed, and Kanji lifts the corner of the duvet with a sense of unease, sliding in but remaining so close to the edge of the mattress that he might fall off at any second.

Souji hadn't expected him to act like Yosuke about this. He wonders if the comment he'd made about condoms before Kanji had ran off to the bathroom had really bothered him that much.

"You can take the bed," he says eventually.

"H-hey! What? What's wrong?"

"I don't want to make you feel weird," Souji says, lifting the covers up and starting to get out, only Kanji's suddenly right above him and then  _on top of him_ and  _oh_ –pressing Souji back into the bed with his weight.

"... Kanji?"

"Don't leave, senpai." He's mumbling right against Souji's neck, breath warm enough that it makes him shiver.

"Okay."

Kanji doesn't move though. He inhales deeply, pushing his face closer to Souji's neck as his hips shift. He's  _hard_ , cock pressing against Souji's thigh, and that... that wasn't the direction he was expecting this to take. But maybe it's not bad? It's not like Souji hasn't thought about certain friends in a certain way, and one of them was Kanji and... his mind is starting to race but his body has already made its move, thighs parting to either side of Kanji's waist so that he falls down in between them, cock pressed snugly against Souji's body.

Kanji's clearly surprised–his eyes are wide when they peek up at Souji, mouth slack, eyebrows furrowed. He must not have expected him to just accept this. But Souji's going to, and all this waiting is just wasting time, so he nudges his hips up and lets Kanji feel the start of his own arousal.

"T-this is really okay?" Kanji asks. Souji nods slowly, making sure he sees every moment of it, so that he knows it's allowed, that Souji wants it too.

A tentative smile settles on Kanji's face as he rocks his hips down in just as hesitant a manner, the barest tease of friction, and then he's still again. His hips dip down, Souji's strain up–and then gone again. Souji bites his lip and squeezes his legs around Kanji's waist, using that leverage to grind up against him.

Kanji moans in his ear. It's shaky and self-conscious, but at least that means Souji's doing the right thing, and he grins against the side of Kanji's face as he places a kiss high against his cheekbone. Now it's feeling better, because Kanji seems a little more interested, the grind of his body against Souji's moving toward rough and satisfying.

It's dizzying, feels unreal–and maybe it's the scenery that helps, but right now it feels like nothing exists or  _needs_ to exist but this bed and the two of them on top of it rutting against one another, driving each other closer and closer toward a point that they've never reached with anyone else before.

And Souji wants to make Kanji feel good. He wants to do more than just this, so one hand slips under his own knee, tucks it up higher until Kanji can push against his ass. It makes him gasp and moan right against Kanji's ear, tilting his hips up as his legs tighten around his waist. He feels so good–heavy and muscled and warm, his cock pressing right up against Souji's ass through the fabric of their pants, and he's all flushed and completely blindsided. Souji wants to make him feel good so badly; it's not like anything he's ever felt before, this bolt of lust making him wild for Kanji's touch.

"Kanji... you want to do this with me, don't you?" he asks, licking his lips feverishly. He surprises even himself. His eyes are only halfway open–he feels like what he assumes being drunk must feel like. Everything feels good and  _weighted_ , the tremble of arousal in his stomach pulling him down and making him feel delirious with how much he wants it. Maybe he's being reckless, but he likes it.

"Yeah... definitely," Kanji replies. He's pushing down harder, one large hand curled around Souji's thigh and pressing it back deeper until he can feel the stretch, grinding forward against his ass until Souji's breathing is loud in his own ears. It's embarrassing, and the best way he can think of to stop himself is to lift his head and press his lips to Kanji's.

It seems he finally has the idea–this isn't Souji playing around, not something he's going to excuse himself out of. Kanji relaxes, parts his lips, pushes his tongue into Souji's mouth and rubs it against his. It's sloppy and rough enough that his teeth press into the soft flesh of Souji's lip, and soon they're  _both_ breathing hard, trading kisses and moaning into each other's mouths as Kanji presses down into Souji.

He can't help but wonder what it would be like to have more. If he were to ask Kanji to take another step, and it's  _odd_ to think about–odd that he's completely fine with hypothetically losing his virginity to Kanji, but really, would he want it to be anyone else?

There's something special about Kanji, something that he doesn't receive from the rest of the Investigation Team. Everyone else he always feels a little bit like he's taking care of, but Kanji is a  _backbone_. Kanji is strong, never wavers, holds up under pressure. As much as it's a thing of respect, there's an attraction there too. He wants to be close to Kanji, wants more from him than he'd really had time to consider before.

"Senpai? You okay with this?" Kanji asks, his fingers loosening their grip on Souji's thigh.

"Of course." As proof, he reaches down between their bodies, attempting to maneuver his hand through the tight space enough to unbutton and unzip Kanji's jeans. It's not working out particularly well, but Kanji sits up after a moment and takes care of it himself.

He looks nervous when he's finished and Souji reaches out to tuck his fingertips under his waistband, so he goes slowly–eyes on Kanji the whole time in case he decides he's changed his mind, but he gets his underwear pushed down and his hand wrapped around his cock and the only thing Kanji does is stifle a moan against his own shoulder.

Souji's eyes stay locked on his as he starts to jerk him off. He feels good in Souji's hand–thick, hot, the pulse of arousal tangible under his palm. For a moment, his mind skips forward to the potential of having this inside of him, and he has to swallow, eyes fluttering and his hand faltering.

"Kanji... is this okay?"

"Y-yeah... yeah... it feels good." He's so red in the face and his brows are furrowed, eyes unable to stay on Souji's because he's too busy looking down between them at Souji's hand encircling his cock.

"What if we did something else?" Souji asks all in a rush. He'd been thinking it, sure, but he hadn't meant to  _say_ it. Then again, so many images have rushed through his mind in the past several minutes, of what he and Kanji could do, that 'something else' could really be anything.

"Like what?"

"Hm..." It's a stretch, but maybe...

Souji bucks up against him, using surprise more than his body weight to tumble them over until Kanji's on his back on the bed and Souji's resting on top of him. It's awkward and consists of far more pointy elbows and kneecaps than it should, but he manages to turn himself around and tuck down against Kanji again, his cock right in front of his face.

It's strange to see it so close up–it's just that Souji's far more interested in poking his tongue out and lapping at it than he is in examining it at any length. There's precome dripping down, spilling across his tongue until he curls it over the tip and swipes it away. Underneath him, he can feel Kanji's stomach heaving slightly, and he hears him groan.

He really is thick. It's difficult to fit into Souji's mouth, but he goes slowly, and admittedly it's a little bit fun to tease Kanji like this, taking his time and feeling his body tremble with each flick of his tongue, each inch further into the heat of his mouth he goes.

Or at least it's fun until he feels hands suddenly cupping around his ass, a finger rubbing over his hole through the thin fabric. He gasps, pulling off of Kanji's cock so that he can look over his shoulder curiously.

"What are you doing...?"

"I wanna make you feel good, senpai," Kanji murmurs, his hands starting to tug the fabric of his lounge pants down. "Can I do that?"

Souji swallows. For some reason it's that statement which has him second guessing. He  _wants_ to go that far, but if they get to that precipice and go over, then is Kanji going to act as weird as he did earlier? What about all the assurances that he wasn't 'like that'? He'd been so sure he would be okay with losing something like this to Kanji, but if he's just going to brush Souji off, then...

"Is that a good idea?" he asks carefully.

"I mean... I really want it. But if this is just... something to pass the time for you, then it's fine." Kanji sounds lost all of a sudden, his body tensing up like he doesn't really want to do this at all, and Souji guesses he's gone ahead and made things weird anyway. He moves off of Kanji, sitting to the side of him with one hand resting delicately on his stomach, unheeding of the fact that his cock is out and still hard. It'd be weirder if he just instigated such a conversation in their previous position, right?

"It's not like that. But I'm just... confused," says Souji, trying to word it as gently as possible. "I thought you said you weren't into this."

"I mean... I'm  _not_. It's not about the fact that you're a guy, y'know? It's because you're... you. I just...  _like you_ , senpai."

Souji's breath hitches a little. All the confusion pours out and the worries pour in, the fear of letting someone so close when he knows it's not going to last, because it  _never_ does. He hasn't managed to keep a friend between moves, much less someone who  _likes_ him. And he can't do this to Kanji. He can't accept this when he can't be there for him.

"It's okay if you don't feel the same," Kanji says, breaking him from his thoughts. He looks pained by the words coming out of him, eyes averted from Souji, arms crossing over his chest defensively. Like he can hide his heart away.

"Kanji, you know that when I leave there's a chance I might not come back, right? It wouldn't be fair of me to start a relationship with you knowing that whatever happens between us will have to end."

"But–I already like you, senpai. I... like you. I'd rather be with you than not."

"You don't know what you're saying. You don't know what it's like."

Kanji sits up suddenly, almost knocking his forehead against Souji's as his hands fumble for his. The look on his face is so  _fierce_ , verging on desperation but full of clarity. "Do you like me, senpai?"

"Of course, Kanji, but..."

"Then don't be a coward! You've never been one, so don't you dare start now! You're better than that. Besides, you've dealt with scarier situations, haven't you? So you can deal with something like this. And... and I'll be here backing you up, just like I always have."

Souji smiles. It falters at first, sits uncomfortably on his lips, but then it grows and he laughs and nods, and Kanji smiles with him. "I guess you're right."

"So you wanna try it with me, senpai? Think you're man enough?" Kanji jokes, his hands falling to Souji's hips.

"Yeah... I want to try it with you, Kanji." He takes this moment to point at the drawer beside the table. "I saw lube in there. Condoms, too."

This statement is apparently enough to make Kanji flush up and turn to rummage through the drawer a little longer than necessary, but even when he has them in hand, he manages to fumble them so badly they land on the floor.

About this time is where Souji decides to take matters into his own hands–leaning over the edge of the bed and swiping up the bottle of lube. He doesn't pass it to Kanji just yet, holding his reservations for the moment.

"Do you know what to do with this?"

" _Duh_."

Souji holds his gaze expectantly, and Kanji flushes more, obediently refraining from reaching for it. Instead, Souji takes his hand and squeezes some of the stuff out onto his fingertips, then guides him back by the wrist until his arm is draped around Souji's waist.

"You can do it?" he asks. Kanji nods hard, his wet fingertips skidding over one cheek before pressing against his hole. At first he's hesitant, afraid to push inside even as Souji instructs him that it's fine–faltering when he presses back until Souji has to hold his wrist tightly in place and use his own leverage to allow two inside.

It doesn't feel bad; more awkward than anything, and Souji has to calm his breathing as he keeps pushing down, slow and steady and never letting up for too long. He's fairly sure if he were to stop right now, it'd be too hard to start up again, so it's just easier like this.

"I-is it okay?" Kanji asks. His fingers are still. Souji hasn't let go of his wrist yet, but he does so now, overly conscious of the fact that he's been squeezing it rather tightly.

"It's fine." It'll be better when the awkwardness fades away, but for now, it's enough that it doesn't hurt. "Why don't you try some things? I'll tell you if it's painful."

Despite his assurance, Kanji is a little hesitant to start out with, fingers nudging what feels like a centimeter at a time inside of him until he's as deep as he can get. And then he just stops.

"Okay... now pull them out some. Try thrusting," Souji instructs, spreading his thighs a little for balance and in preparation for whatever Kanji's going to do.

He gets the point more quickly this time–fingers withdrawing and then pressing in again, and Souji moans softly as he nudges up against something pleasurable. It feels better this way, and he clings a little as Kanji gets the hang of it, steadily becoming more rough about it (possibly in his own excitement) and adding another finger to the mix.

Before long, Souji's panting against his shoulder, arching down in desperation for more than just this. He wants it so badly it feels like nothing else exists outside of this once again.

"Come on, Kanji... more," he breathes, reaching down and taking his cock in hand. Apparently even spending the last several minutes doing nothing but fingering Souji hasn't detracted from his enjoyment at all, because he's still just as hard, and Souji licks his lips as he spreads some lube on his fingertips and wraps them around him.

He doesn't manage to do much for pleasure–Kanji is all business suddenly, rolling Souji onto his back and pushing his thighs up toward his chest, cock bumping up against his hole. He's fiercely concentrated, desperate, and Souji gets the feeling. He feels a lot like that too.

But he's still waiting for something. Even as his breaths come shorter and shorter and his hips twitch forward, Kanji doesn't do anything.

"It's fine... I want it," Souji says softly, stroking his fingertips up Kanji's sides. "Please..."

Kanji groans and it's clear he's just not able to hold back anymore. He starts pushing in and Souji forces his body not to tense up too much, because he really  _wants_ it. His head is already falling back against the pillow as Kanji's cock opens him up and makes him gasp and bite down on his lip. It doesn't feel good necessarily, but he's so excited for what's to come that he doesn't have any problem taking it.

Each inch that fills him has him arching up more in anticipation, his arms coming to wrap around Kanji's shoulder and hold him closer, pressing hot kisses against his neck. It's as much affection as it is want–something filling him that keeps him anxious and his toes curling until Kanji is all the way inside, so thick that Souji's astounded he can take it.

"Kanji," he gasps, tucking his thighs tighter around him and arching up, begging him to start thrusting. "I want it..."

Kanji obliges him, and maybe he's helpless in the face of Souji's begging, his trembling body clinging so tightly that it probably hurts. But the point is that he draws his hips back and starts pushing into him at last, tentatively at first until he finally gives in completely to the pleading look on Souji's face, giving him exactly what he needs–the hard thrust of his cock that leaves Souji crying out and his whole body straining.

"Y-yeah... you look so good, senpai," Kanji whispers. His face is bright red, and he seems so completely overwhelmed by Souji that it's honestly endearing. Kanji is sweet; this strikes Souji at the strangest time, but it's  _true_. He's so open to being on the same ride as Souji–wants to see him feel good so badly that he'd allow this, and that softens Souji in turn.

"Kanji..." he murmurs, holding him tighter, his body arching up against him and begging for more, like he's waited this long to be held.  _Just by Kanji–just by him,_ because he's the only one that's strong enough to keep Souji up, the only one that Souji can count on for exactly this. He's overwhelmed suddenly, because it's only been a matter of time.

He gets confessions. Letters in his cubby at school. They're a little odd, because Souji's never known how to react to people who see him from afar and think there's something there, but the Investigation Team has always been different. He  _loves_ them, wants to take care of them and ensure that they're happy, but he's always been the caretaker.

Except with Kanji. And it's not just that which draws Souji to him. It's because Kanji is caring and he's so much more than anyone bothers to see–it makes Souji want to curl up against him and hold tight.

But right now he's breathing hard, restlessly pushing his hips up against Kanji, and his eyes are half-shut,  _delirious_ from how good it is with Kanji's cock hitting that spot inside of him, and he feels like he's losing his mind because it's just so  _good_ , everything he thought Kanji could do to him. He's breathless, muttering things like  _please, more_ , because he's getting closer and he doesn't think he can take much more without spilling over the edge.

" _Kanji_ ," he breathes harshly, his hands digging tight into him and pulling him down until Kanji can't do much more than thrust into him–not fast, but deep, his hips rutting up right against Souji's ass, and finally, he seems to give in to that desperation too. It's like he wants to do this so badly that he can't even think straight, his mouth intent on Souji's neck and his breath coming heavy. It feels like too much, and Souji's hand slips down between their bodies to wrap around his cock, jerking himself off fast.

He really doesn't want to come. He wants this to keep going, admittedly a little afraid, because what if he doesn't get this anymore? What if this is the only time? But he just can't hold back no matter how he forces it down, his free arm clinging to Kanji's shoulder and his other hand squeezing his cock until he gasps loudly and comes–body so tight around Kanji that he probably can't help the way he follows after so quickly, filling his body with warmth and a sense of satisfaction.

There's a sticky mess between their bodies when Souji begins to focus less on the fact that it's over. He doesn't mind it so much; really, he can ignore it in favor of the way Kanji is holding him, breathing against his neck and pressing idle kisses to his throat.

"That was really good," he mumbles blearily.

Kanji laughs, fitting an arm between Souji's waist and the bed so that he can pull him up a little closer. "Yeah?"

"Yeah..."

"So you wanna do it again sometime, senpai?"

"Absolutely." He sounds so serious that they both laugh, and the smile remains on Souji's lips.

"I was scared," he murmurs after a couple moments of silence. "I thought... it's my responsibility to make sure all of you are okay, but you help me a lot, Kanji. And it's not just that, but I like the idea of being with you. I think we'd be good together, you know?"

"Yeah, I know. I've been trying to tell you that the whole time. It's good that you've finally come around."

Souji laughs, his eyes fluttered shut and soft against his cheeks, but his arms around Kanji's shoulders pull him down so that he can return one of those gentle kisses. "I'm not so scared of coming around if it's for you."

**Author's Note:**

> [tumblr!](http://bunansa.tumblr.com)


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